Friday, March 13, 2009
The Bible and the Birth Certificate
a night this week,
rain pours down from the freeway overpass above,
onto cardboard-box houses that are almost empty.
as the water splashes onto my head,
i think vaguely that it has been under car tires
and must be very dirty.
a man from India,
whose face shines near me in the dark
as he stands inside his empty box-house, says to me,
“what you all are doing makes all the difference.”
i battle back the tears
so as not to embarrass him
or myself.
i will choke on those tears for days,
as the sorrow i see and feel this night makes me ill,
sending me to bed with bronchitis.
it is the sorrow that does it,
not the cold.
i’ve seen this place for years,
this camp outside of dallas
erected in desperation by people who have no place else to go –
seen it in various states and stages –
with occupants numbering a hundred,
and with a population of five.
maybe this time is harder
because it is so tragically
just exactly the same.
somewhere downtown in a brightly-lit building,
someone pulls a lever,
and the gears begin to turn.
wheels roll through the streets of dallas,
devouring all in their wake,
and move on down into the trenches,
where people wait, huddled under cardboard.
how many times have the dozers and dump trucks
come to this little town?
almost six years i’ve been seeing the aftermath,
yet i’m just a newcomer.
is this truly the best we can do?
this week, this night,
four friends of the camp’s people
stand helplessly on the sidewalk,
trying to know how to tell the story,
and trying to keep the people alive –
in body and in spirit –
in bitter rain,
and wind which cuts with a vicious bite
through the space
under the freeway overpass.
i walk back and forth
in front of the few cardboard houses,
up and down the sidewalk in the blackness,
one new pair of socks left in my pocket.
these few box-houses,
back from the dead of last friday’s raid,
won’t last long
against the dump trucks and dozers
which are sure to come again soon.
a woman comes towards me in the dark, face hidden in a hood. “he’d just gotten a copy of his birth certificate,” she tells me of her husband. “it was in his Bible. last friday, he was downtown, clearing out his warrants. i tried to get them to let me back into our house to get his papers before they tore it down and took it away, but they said no.”
her husband was taking the steps he had to take to get off the street. back to zero.
“wait, wait,” i tell her, and i put my arm around her and walk her back down the sidewalk toward the friends who’ve come with me, wanting her to tell another witness, wanting the words to be hers, not mine. words coming out of a sad face, a cold face, a numb face — a face that can barely hold any more sorrow, but that endures, and one that seems to be past anger, because it has no recourse. as we walk, she asks me, ‘do you have any clothes? they took everything.’ ‘i’ll bring you some,’ i promise.
a bureaucrat gives an order,
and the trucks roar to life.
workers wield their rakes,
clearing the residue of human lives.
‘you can take your id’s. nothing else,’
they tell these people regarding their own possessions –
clothing, bedding, everything is gone.
so the man from India
stands in his empty cardboard house
on this near-freezing night
with two thin blankets
and says to me, without anger or self-pity,
‘feel these blankets. they are wet.’
he is well-spoken, clearly educated.
i touch the blankets.
‘they are wet,’ i agree. ‘i’m so sorry.’
we have no blankets with us to give him,
but what matters to him is that someone sees,
that someone cares.
if there is love and caring,
the wet and cold can be more easily endured.
it feels so bitterly cold under that bridge,
though, near the people, it is warm.
trying to rise from the muck,
the woman frantically grasps at the costly sheet of paper,
tucked there within the Good Book,
but both are sucked up into Heaven,
just out of reach of her hands.
the machine of bureaucracy
is grinding up and spitting out human beings,
along with their hopes, dreams and belongings.
no recourse
a group of theorists finds the people, counts them, takes in money on their behalf, and spends it as they see fit. a group of bureaucrats collects sizable pay checks in the name of aiding the people, returning to fine houses at day’s end, yet the people themselves are forbidden their cardboard-box homes, even though they have nowhere else to go.
then, somewhere in the past, present and future, a tall, robust man stands at a podium looking radiant and nods graciously to thunderous applause from like-minded supporters. crystal sparkles. luscious food has been presented, nibbled at, pushed away, and removed. by candlelight, wine is sniffed, sipped, and perhaps sloshed onto starched white linen tablecloths.
the remnants of the food end up in the landfill,
and mingle there with a Bible and a birth certificate.
“i’m happy to report that we’ve solved the problem of homelessness in dallas,” the man says, smiling an appealing and congenial smile. and, once again, the audience roars to life.
as if the magic of machinery can make people disappear.
KS
Links:
Larry James Urban Daily Blog:
http://larryjamesurbandaily.blogspot.com/2009/03/bible-and-birth-certificate.html#comments
Janet Morrison’s Community Dialogue:
http://janetmorrison.blogspot.com/2009/03/maybe-its-better-not-to-know.html
Pegasus News:
http://www.pegasusnews.com/news/2009/mar/09/it-time-tent-city-dallas/?refscroll=10411#comments
Dallas Homeless Network Blog:
https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=7626581935246500287&postID=5736747935276336993
Conscience & Clarity Blog:
http://conscienceclarity.blogspot.com/
Reggie’s Story October 6, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
Reggie Crawford, with whom I’m privileged to work when I volunteer at The Bridge homeless assistance center, is one of the most inspiring and compassionate individuals I’ve met in a while. I appreciate that Reggie and Street Zine have given me permission to reprint his story here. KS
STEP Transformed Plan A & B Into G For Me
By Reggie Crawford
Like most people, I just wanted to live a normal life expecting nothing flashy, extravagant or extraordinary.
My life started out very simple; I guess you could call me a military brat. My father was in the military for over thirty years, and my mother taught high school and did most of the kid raising of myself and six siblings. My mom was a very determined and strong woman who I think was my greatest influence because she always believed in me.
I went to college majoring in music education and business marketing. Upon graduation I quickly found a job as a music teacher which I hated. I was not mentally prepared for this work and I had no patience which is something you really need when you teach middle school kids. The bad notes were killing me!
I quickly found that I needed another plan so I resorted to plan B, which was to join the military. There have been times in my life when I made some brilliant decisions and this was one of them. While in college, I was in ROTC and already had a four year commitment. At that time, the Army had a one year delay entry program and I looked forward to and could not wait to enter the military.
I loved the Army, as a brand new second lieutenant; I was on my way up. Both of my parents were very proud; I had a new car, new house, lots of new friends, and a new attitude that spelled super arrogant. Some called it cocky, conceited, or even egotistic; but I will call it for what it really was, bone head. In my mind, I really thought I was an icon, my family thought I was crazy, which was not far from the truth.
My drive helped me get promotions and medals but after several years in the service I decided to give civilian life another try. You have to remember that up to this point all I had known was military life. I was scared to death, but I still had plan B so if things did not work out in civilian life I could always return back to military life.
I went to work as a sales representative with a major company and continued to move up to a management position. After several years in sales I changed careers again and went to work as a loan manager at a major bank. I loved my civilian jobs and I loved my life. I guess you could say that I had the American dream; married with two great kids, a nice house and a dog named Human who I suspected hated me.
I remember an unknown author who said “the only sure thing we know about life is that change will happen, be it good or bad.” Needless to say my change was really, really bad. My eighteen year marriage fell apart, I had several bad investments, and finally a job lay off.
The good life as I had known it was gone and I had helped the process by abusing drugs and alcohol which pretty much guarantees a meltdown in life. Here I was, without a wife, kids and job which presented me with the abnormal life of homelessness. The self-centered, smug, and stuck up self was replaced by shame, embarrassment and guilt. Here I was sleeping on the streets, standing in line for meals, and hoping I could get myself out of this situation before I got myself killed. Oh yeah, remember plan B? Now, I am too old to return to the military.
After one year and five months of living a homeless life, I realized that I really needed help. I’ll call it a ‘lifeline’ because I was drowning mentally and spiritually. I decided to enter a program at The Stewpot called STEP (Stewpot Transitional Employment Program). This program was God sent for me; the people actually cared about my well being. Some of the people I met while in the STEP program have become true friends. It is also while participating in this program that I learned about another plan. I will call it plan G, God’s plan.
Plan G is the reason I decided to write my story. I truly believe that God orchestrated this path for me, not because I am a bad person, but because I needed to be humbled. I now understand that life is full of ups and downs, twist and turns and things that don’t always go as planned, but through God’s grace and faith nothing is too big to overcome. This journey has been the best thing that has ever happened to me.
Today, I am working as the dining room coordinator at the Second Chance Café, located at The Bridge. This gives me the opportunity to work with some of the best volunteers in the City of Dallas. My job is to make sure that the dining room runs smoothly while the meals are being served to the homeless population accessing services at The Bridge.
I thank everyone who has helped me along the way, but first and foremost, I thank God for his/her grace and understanding.
Reprinted from the October 2008 issue of Street Zine [http://thestewpot.org/streetzine.asp].