Sunday, June 26, 2011
You Know You’re Vacationing With Family When…
… You walk into the kitchen and eat cold scrambled eggs off a plate without knowing or caring who they belonged to.
… You’re the loudest people in a public place and other people are looking at you while trying/pretending not to. It may be exuberant joy, or it may be bickering, but your group is the loudest.
… You say one word or phrase, and everybody gets the joke.
… You say one word or phrase, and everybody gets offended.
… People feel free to offer you fashion advice unsolicited. And definitely unsolicited. Sometimes it sounds like, “Oh, God, Mom, NO!”
… One daughter says to the other meaningfully: “She bought a t-shirt. In a bright color.” The other daughter knows that means turquoise.
… You feel free to ignore people’s fashion advice, knowing they have to go in public with you anyway.
… You know just what to do to soothe a tired, hungry, grumpy grandchild.
… Nothing that anybody can do can soothe a tired, hungry, grumpy grandchild, and every attempt to do so irritates her/him even more… in the extreme.
… Every odd thing that anybody does you tend to see as evidence of family pathology, and almost certainly your fault.
… You think how you wished you’d forced the whole group into family counseling at an early age.
… Every adorable thing that anybody does you tend to see as evidence of your terrific parenting and your brilliant application of the child development books you read when they were young.
… You’re so glad your Healthy Family doesn’t need counseling.
… You congratulate yourself on telling your kids: “Follow your dreams! Be yourself! Speak your mind!”
… You wish your kids were a little more reluctant to speak their minds to you, and you wish they’d use “I feel” statements whenever they’re inclined to do so.
… You long to turn to someone and share the ‘beautiful-sunset moment.’ Everyone you can think of that you’d like to share it with is right there.